Isms

A few sayings and “choice phrases” that I’ve been known to say
and some that we’ve picked up from our friends and influences…

58. “I’m as useless as a priest with a 12-inch D!@K!”
57.”Try to become not a man of success, but try, rather, to become a man of value.”
56. “Rest has cured more people than all the medicine in the world.”
55. “Those things that hurt, instruct.”
54. “A life directed chiefly toward the fulfillment of personal desires will, sooner or later, always lead to bitter disappointment.”
53. “Tighter than a cats ass strung across a door knob!”
52. “Fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.” – sent in by a reader…
51. “Everything you do in life: make it pig tight, bull strong, and hoss high.” From a Friend of Rocke Solid Marine
50. “The important thing is to not stop questioning.  Curiosity has it’s own reason for existing.”
49. “The value of achievement lies in the achieving.”
48. “Hotter than the hinges on the gates of hell!” – from a good friend of Rocke Solid
47. “The only way to escape the corruptible effect of praise is to go on working.”
46. “Never argue with a fool, he’ll bring you down to his level and beat you with experience.”
45. “Don’t ask the question if you don’t wanna hear the answer.”
44. “Bad news is always best delivered early.”
43. “Health is better than wealth.”
42. “Sarcasm.  Safer than a condom.”
41. “That chick his hotter than do-nut grease!” – from a friend of ours in North Carolina
40. “I thought I had a unicorn, turns out what I had was a donkey with a toilet plunger stuck to its face!” – G. B.
39. “Those who do not find time for exercise will have to find time for illness.”
38. “In God we trust.  All others pay cash!”
37. “I can get a good look at a t-bone steak by sticking my head up a bull’s a$$, but I’d rather just take the butcher’s word for it!” (On trusting someone’s opinion)
36. “To punish me for my contempt of authority, fate has made me an authority myself.”
35. “Tell the truth – there’s less to remember.”
34. “Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom.”
33. “Perfect is the worst enemy of good enough.”
32. “The best things in life aren’t things.”
31.  “That makes my ass wanna dip snuff.” – D. L. A., the mother of a new friend of Rocke Solid’s.  “[She was a] great woman and American.  Told it like it was, and never backed down.  She was known as that woman from Vidor (Vidor, Texas). from a viet nam vet and recently returned from afghanistan as a civilian contractor to the army.”
30. “When you live on the edge, you take up less room.”
29. “God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today.  Have you used one to say thank you?”
28. “My dad always said ‘Amateur drinkers go out… Professional drinkers stay home.’” – C. M.
27. “This ain’t my first rodeo.” – G. B.
26. “Dance with who brung ya!”
25. “He who dies with the most toys… still dies.”
24. “There are two ways to get rich – You can make more, or require less.”
23. “Imagination is more important than knowledge.  Knowledge is limited – imagination encircles the world.” – A. E.
22. “Excuses are like underwear; we all have them, and most of them have holes in them!” – J. D.
21. “Quit runnin’ your pie hole!” – Originally stolen from a former drill instructor of mine, now “adopted” by Jackie when she’s talking about yours truly…
20.”Nothing beats a try!” – Mr. McQ
19. “I don’t drink water, because you KNOW what fish do in it, don’t ya? – J. J. M.
18. “I’m having so much fun, the government is starting to charge me an amusement tax!”
17. “I’m as comfortable as a fish on a bicycle!”
16. “Everyone likes a LITTLE ass, but nobody likes a SMART ass!”
15. “You’re so HOT, you could make a dead man’s d!c# stiff!”
14. “In tighter than two d!c#s in one rubber!”
13. “I’m so happy right now that if I were a dog with two tails, I’d be waggin’ both of them!”
12. “I’m as happy as a gay going to prison!”
11. “I need another dog like I need a d!¢k growing outta my forehead!”
10. “How much is this gonna set us back?  It’s free?!  I can afford free!”
9. One I’ve said to my wife about another woman… “She’s so ugly, I wouldn’t do her if YOU had a d!c#!”
8. “I’ve put a lot of effort into being lazy!”
7. “I’m sweatin’ like I stole something!”
6. “I’m on it like an Ethiopian after a donut rolling down a hill!”
5. “I knew that guy before Moby Dick was a minnow!”
4. “I’m sweating like a whore in church!”
3. “Fair is what you pay to ride the bus…”
2.”I’m glad that my d!¢# is longer than my memory!”
1. “FREE is my 2nd favorite 4-letter word that starts with F!”